The Poor Mom Revolution

     Have any of you ever dreamed of traveling? Spending some much needed family time on the road, camping or living the van/RV life, taking a plane to a place you’ve never experienced? Last year for the first time, I made my dream of traveling not only a goal but a reality. Now traveling isn’t cheap, especially with a family, but I knew what I wanted and I made it happen on my terms. I’m a visual person and for me dream boards, checklists, bullet journaling are a must, so what better way to see your dream then to purchase a photo map. I have my US photo map hung over our fireplace in the family room to be a daily reminder of the few places we’ve been and the many we’d like to go to. As much as I’d absolutely love to have a full family vacation, financially that isn’t quite in the cards for us. When I broke it down… four round trip plane tickets, hotel accommodations, food and activities were not something we could save for in less than a year let alone two. Instead, I thought it would be a great idea to have a more personal/private trip with each of the kids separately. This would be a great way to have some one on one time together, it allows the cost to be a lot more reasonable and easier to save for, and I can spread the trips out throughout the year instead of only having one. 

     I came up with this idea last year as we’ve never been to California and my little brother is now living in Los Angeles. He invited us to come visit, but the plane tickets for four of us were not cheap (would have been a little over $2,000 roundtrip) and if we all decided to go we would have needed hotel accommodations because we couldn’t all fit in a one bedroom apartment. The four day/five night trip would have cost us close to $5000 when all was said and done. Deciding to go with one child, cut the airplane cost in half, it allows us to stay at my brother’s apartment and gives us some extra money for all the fun activities along the way. I don’t know about you, but when I’m on vacation being “stingy” isn’t in my vocabulary. I say ‘no’ to everything every day of my life because it is either too expensive, not a necessity or I simply can’t spend money on myself. When I’m on vacation, which is obviously rare, I’m going to do all the things, eat all the meals, enjoy my time with fun activities and outings and not think twice. 

     If you’re anything like us, it’s hard to plan for these sort of trips because all your money each paycheck is accounted for pretty tightly. I have made it a point since last year to penny pinch even more than I normally do and put $150 a paycheck aside strictly for travel money. If I’m able to more I will, but this is a minimum. This meant that I needed to limit eating out and grabbing spontaneous lunches with my work besties, limiting my coffee breaks, and any frivolous Amazon spending. $150 paycheck isn’t a ton, but saving $300 a month for an entire year allowed me $3600 to get flight tickets, Airbnb’s and not have to worry about money during the trips. My goal has always been to experience new places in the world and I want that for my kids too, so why not start with the US! 

     In order to make a vacation feasible throughout 2023, we planned two trips, one with my son and one with my daughter. Over Easter break this past year, my son and I enjoyed a 5 night/4 day big airplane trip to Los Angeles. The last time my son was on a plane was when he was about 4. He doesn’t remember anything about it and this was really fun to experience this with him. We had a ton of snacks in his carry on, both brought a few books and our headphones ready for the movies. We laughed, we held hands and just enjoyed the moment. The almost 6 hour plane ride didn’t even feel that long as we chatted, snacked and giggled our way through it. He experienced the vegan lifestyle through LA with delicious food, ice cream and a local farmers market. We took a crazy photo with the Hollywood sign by jumping out of the car and standing near a parking lot entrance and even experienced Disney Land! It was a trip neither of us will ever forget!

     Now I know what you may be thinking, because traveling can be a lot! This past year was the first time I traveled by plane with a kid alone. I’m a nervous nelly and wasn’t sure how it was going to go. We fit everything into one carry-on bag and a backpack to put under each of our seats. I hand rolled everything tightly just to make sure we had one bag for the few nights to make the airport travel easier as we could always do laundry if we needed to. The backpacks had games, activities, headphones, yummy snacks, bubblicious gum for takeoff and landing, his Nintendo Switch and a few books. We put as much as we could just in case one of us got bored or didn’t know what to do. First time on an airplane (that he remembers) and it’s almost 6 hours… I was nervous! As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “it takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” I always like the odds better when I have thought of everything!

     My daughter and I had a super fun 3 day birthday weekend! With her birthday falling on Thursday and mine falling on Friday, we took Mothers Day weekend as a sign to live our best lives.  It was drivable and allowed us to “road trip” a few hours with a ton of singing at the top of our lungs, giggling, a midway Ulta visit to allow my little girlie girl to get spoiled and stopping for a delicious dinner on the road. My daughter picked out an air bnb in Mystic, Connecticut. She chose to stay at a small apartment above a bookstore in the center of town. We enjoyed tons of restaurants that were vegan friendly including a local smoothie spot, pizza and ice cream! There were tons of places to walk around, explore and learn about the historic city. We got our nails done, read on the pier and found a super cute animal spot to pick up toys for the kitties. The kids still talk about the trips and can’t wait to go on another one! As we enter 2024, we’re switching it up and my daughter cannot wait to go to Los Angeles to spend time with her Uncle and my son has decided for a Maryland weekend with a bunch of DC trips, tours and museums as he’s my little history buff. 

     Growing up I always went on big annual vacations and I always felt like less of a parent because I wasn’t able to afford that with the kids. It’s a little bit of a sore spot for me, but we always made sure to do overnights at hotels every now and then, find places with pools to do something different and the kids love every second. Since we’re not able to do it often, the kids really remember and experience it all. You should see their faces light up when they’re running around trying to find their rooms and apparently watching TV on the bed or couch just hits different when you’re not at home. Comparing can honestly be soul crushing and we need to remember that no matter what our situations are and where we are in life, we are killing it and doing the best we can with what we have. Many of us are in financial distress because of circumstances out of our control… whether it’s the constant rising inflation making groceries and everyday necessities almost double the price or having that one emergency payment or bill that put you behind… it seems daunting, stressful and defeating. 

  If you and your significant other don’t know where to start and this is something that has peaked your interest, start today. With it being the beginning of January, as a couple start putting away $50 a paycheck. Whether it is individually or combined, you’ll be saving $100 a month and $1200 a year. That will pay for 2 or 3 nights at an airbnb (drivable distance) with food and activity money. If you can each save up that amount there are tons of cheap flights you can get or a way to get a second small vacay. $50 biweekly is equivalent to 1 take out meal for us, 5 Dunkin/Starbucks stops, a splurge online shopping for something I want but don’t really need. I always say, if you aren’t happy then make the change!

     When it comes down to it, if you want something bad enough you’ll make it happen. I’ve always thrown a bit of a pity party in regards to not being able to do big extravagant trips with the family, but I’m realizing the small ones are just as fun, memorable and exciting. This past year has shown me that spending quality time with each of my kids is something I never realized I needed so badly. Keep in mind that your kids experience the joy you share with them. If traveling or vacationing is your dream, don’t let having kids, financial stress or your self doubts get in the way.