The Poor Mom Revolution

  I’ve never really been one to believe solely on fate or things strictly happening for a reason, but I’ve always believed that our brains hold power and our energies project to those around us. Anyone can make you believe something if it’s said or taught enough whether it’s positive or negative. Your brain has that ability to hear the positive and negative from those around you and the way you talk to yourself. Eventually if you hear something enough, you start to believe it. I’ve been thinking lately that there is so much bad crap happening around us and it would truly eat me alive if I let it. It takes all my mental power to not let it bring me down, so I tend to tune it out as to not let it ruin my day. I’ve been working hard to focus on the good in myself and finding those like me. I’ve decided that this year is about me taking control of my thoughts, my feelings and my actions.

  Now I find energy to be quite fascinating, because it is so contagious. When you’re around someone with positive energy and good vibes you feel excited, safe and comfortable. You feel better and enjoy hanging out with them. They are the ones you call when you need advice because you know the feedback will be honest, helpful and give you a new perspective. No wonder you’re attracted to these types of energies… and it’s for good reason. 

  When you’re around someone that is constantly negative, they bring down the room, suck everything good from the air and make you feel irritable and uncomfortable. Just being in the same room feels like a burden and a chore. You tend to avoid these people when possible, but when you do come in contact with them… there is no stopping the gut wrenching feeling of misery that follows.

  I’ve always been in tune with others and how they are feeling. I can read a person without having to be told if they’re okay or not and am always checking in to help when I can. When I went to Israel many years back on a once in a lifetime BirthRight trip, I met a wonderful soul that asked me if I was an empath. I, to be honest, had never heard of the word prior to that and asked her again what she meant. I know empathetic, but empath? She had seen me talking to another girl on the bus and knew that I cared deeply for others and noticed she needed to talk, vent and I allowed myself to be her sounding board because it was evident she needed it. We got talking. I realized that I definitely had a heightened sense of empathy, just like her, and it was hard to control. We chatted about how sometimes I felt like it was a gift and other times it felt more like a curse. I mentioned that I take on what others are feeling and those energies around me and have no control over which way my mood follows. Talking or helping someone can bring my entire mood down for days or can lift me up and brighten it. On this trip and in this moment, I began to think about the people that I have and want around me and began looking for ways to set boundaries to protect myself.

  Just the other day, my daughter and I went shopping at BJ’s to pick up a few shopping items. We of course were having a girls day and were wearing matching sweaters because she was in the mood to be twins. We just so happened to be loading our food into the back of the car the same time the woman next to us was. She said she loved our sweaters and I proceeded to say we don’t match often so I’ll milk it for all it’s worth when she wants to. She had a huge smile on her face when she let me know that she has two sons so she didn’t get to experience the matching, but that her son just got married to a wonderful girl and hopes to have moments like this with her future grandbabies. We talked for all of 5-10 minutes and she showed me photos of her kids from New Years Eve on her phone wearing coordinated colors for a photo op. We spoke about her beautiful family and we wished each other a fabulous day. She thanked me again for talking to her and said she really appreciated that I took the time. After getting back in the car, my daughter asked why she showed us pictures of her family. I let her know that she was very proud of them and wanted to share them. I just so happened to be that someone. I also let her know that sometimes people just need a friend and when they talk, it’s important to listen. You never know who needs it and 5 minutes can change anyone’s day and bring about a smile.

  As humans, we are a social species. Even those of us who are extra introverted still need that time to connect with others to share our celebrations and our struggles. The connection could be a small moment with a stranger while waiting in line at the register of a store or the barista at Starbucks that spends a little extra time chatting with you about non-dairy drinks you’ll love next time or simply thanking the Amazon delivery driver for being so amazing during a snowstorm when he should in fact be home. I think if everyone took just a few minutes out of their day to focus on being nice, positive and a wee bit more optimistic … things would be more okay than not! I want to challenge you this week to really take a look at those you have in your corner. You want to feel supported and cared about and you want to be pushed outside your comfort zones. There’s a motivational speaker named Jim Rohn who states there is a rule of 5. Jim states, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with!” He, like many others, believes that you’re shaped by the people that are closest to you. This makes sense because we’ve been having a debate of nature versus nurture forever. The fact that It’s either something you’re born with or something you experience by being exposed to it over and over again on a daily basis. This would make sense that those you spend the most time with will in turn become part of who you are. If you’re smiling right now, knowing your group has your back no matter what and always pushes you to do and be better… just know how special that is and definitely let them know what they mean to you this week. It’ll be more than you know. If you aren’t happy with who is in your corner, this is your time to shine! No one should ever bring you down or make you feel any less than you are! You’ve got a blank slate and tons of people that would be lucky to have you. Just remember each day is a new day to bring out the best in yourself and those around you♥️