Friendships really are vital to survival. I mean let’s be real, when you’re in the thick of life and everything’s going crazy, who doesn’t need someone that you can go out to lunch with, grab a coffee and chat, or go for winery date on a random weeknight because you just simply need an hour or two to yourself. At this age, hanging out with friends and having social time fills my battery just as much as getting a spa day. Okay, it’s pretty darn close because spa days are top notch, but both can be far and few between. Afterwards, I feel refreshed, lighter and ready to take on whatever life has to throw at me.
Just like any other relationship, given time, friendships will change, adapt and morph along the way. Various circumstances in life allow us to grow and become the best versions of ourselves over and over and over again. I am by no means the same person I was when I was 16 nor the same person I was last year, and I have a feeling you’re not either. As hard as it’s been to work through the “getting older and growing up” phase of my life, I’ve been forever grateful for those that have been around since the beginning of time, those I’ve met along the way and extremely thankful to rekindle friendships from my past.
I tend to put friendships in different categories. You’ve got your acquaintances, close friends, best friends and ride or die friends. I’ve had people hit every single category at different times and it’s definitely fluid and ever changing. Some of these friends will be in your lives forever and others are in your life for the exact time you need them and not a moment longer. Now let me explain a bit further and you can let me know what you think or if you have different categories.
So I know some incredible acquaintances and they are in my fabulous friend category. I’ve met them at the soccer field or a PTA outing, at a community hangout or the pool, they can be friends of a friend where I’ve gone out and gotten drinks together… regardless these friendships are easy, fun with zero expectations. I have a great time with them whenever we’re together, but there’s no need to call, text, follow-up as you’re friendly but don’t know each other crazy well. You have enough in common where you bond, laugh and it’s a great time.
Next, you have your close friends. This one’s a strange category and very similar to best friends in my mind in the sense that these people really get you. They may not be somebody who knows your entire life story, you may not hang out with them on the weekends or on your days off, but they’re still your person. They always can tell when you’re feeling off, and will do anything to make it better. I’ve typically put my work friends in the past within this category since we’d talk about all things school and no matter what happens I’d be in their room chatting away on every break possible.
Your best friends are the ones that will change over time. They are the ones that help get you through tough times, the ones you call when you are excited about something or simply need to vent.. they’re your go to hangout person and can bring sunshine to even the cloudiest of days. These are the type of friends that can make you laugh for no reason and in my case cause me to wheeze and need an inhaler. You get each other without having to say a word as the eyes and facial expressions say it all. They are the ones you call or text last minute and ask if they want to meet up, grab a coffee or join you on a supermarket trip just because you were thinking about them and would rather have company.
Your ride and die friends are on a whole new level. I’ve seen some people call them your “low maintenance” friends, but either way they are necessary to your long term survival. These are the friends that I keep in touch with when I’m able to, but sometimes it’s forever since we talked. It’s like no matter how much time is in between each conversation, no time has passed at all and we just pick up where we left off. These are the friends that I would drop anything for if they needed me and I know it works both ways. The majority of my friends that are in this category I’ve known since elementary, middle or high school If not before. Basically, if anything happens I know I can count on them to give me the most honest of answers because they know everything about me. These are the girls that knew me and believed in me before I figured out who I was.These are the friends you never have to worry about as there is always positivity, love, support and the understanding that no matter how crazy different your lives are… you’ll never truly grow apart.
I was reminded of this just the other day when I had a reunion with a few of my ride or die friends. We’re all in different walks of life, but yet all feeling similarly. We had a mutual understanding that life is tough and we’re all figuring it out one day at a time. Sometimes you just need that reminder that you’re not alone and you have tons of people that get it.
I think it’s important to take a minute and see who you have in each of your categories. Remember that no one person checks all the boxes and it’s nice to have a friend to go to and relate to depending on the situation, feeling or vibe you’re in. I bet you know exactly who you’d call to text if you were on the verge of a hysteric crying episode, if you were feeling like a snack and binge watching marathon, or simply wanted to grab a Starbucks and walk around Target. Friend categories tend to change based on the season of life you’re in and I’ve learned to accept that. I used to be really upset when I lost a close/best friend, but I now understand there’s a time and place and not everybody’s meant to be by your side for every single moment. Some relationships have a hiatus and after a break you’re closer than ever another times it’s okay to just let it go. Relationships are hard work and I think the only thing that changes once you get a bit older is you’re more selective in what you’re working hard for. Some are definitely worth the time and energy and some simply are not.
The Poor Mom Revolution 
Leave a comment