The Poor Mom Revolution

It’s official, today is my 36th birthday!

I’ve never really had a problem with getting old and didn’t give too much thought about it. When I was younger all I wanted to be was slightly older to be able to do more things, go more places, but the older I get the more I realize that I shouldn’t have rushed it all. That wishing it all away didn’t allow me to live in the moment as much as I wish I could have. I’ve spent the majority of my life looking ahead. I’ve always had a 5 and 10-year plan mapping out everything and it feels strange that now those plans incorporate my kids being out of the house and/or potentially starting a different life. Crazy to think how fast time has flown by.

I always had dreams of where I thought I’d be at this time in my life and while so much of it Is better than I’ve ever expected, I can’t stop myself from playing the what-if game. See in my mind… money struggles, inflation, complete job changes, multiple moves weren’t a thing… and I was hoping to have more adventures such as traveling to new places or celebrating my 10-year wedding anniversary on an all-inclusive resort, renewing our vows on the beach with our kids on either side of us. And while some big dreams get pushed to the side for more practical things like a working car, soccer training and tournaments, house renovations, projects and weekend getaways, we do our best to make everyday special! As the social media trend would say “ I like this little life!”

When I come to terms with where I am at 36, I honestly am so damn proud! Of course I’m still figuring out my path and where I go from here, but I know who I am. I’ve gone through a lot of crappy days to get where I am now and I’m stronger, more confident, self-aware, determined and more outspoken because of it. I’ve spent too many days crying over other people’s words and not standing up for myself. I’ve spent too many days allowing my negative self-talk to keep me from pursuing my dreams or making changes. I’ve spent too many days thinking about other people’s expectations of what my life should look like rather than choosing what makes me happy. Thankfully I made the decision a few years ago to let go of all of it and the difference between where I was at 30 and where I am now, brings nothing but happy tears! Life is incredibly too short to not enjoy it!

I’m honestly amazed that it’s even May at this point. I feel like the days can be long but the weeks are so short and the fact that we’re almost halfway through 2024 is mind-boggling to me. I have no idea where the time goes and the fact that my kids turn 9 and 11 this year is even more insane. I’ve got these little adults living in my house now using elementary slang terminology like suss and bussin’ that I’m now entering “old” Mom territory because I get made fun of if I use it wrong. When they were little, I always wanted to know how they’d grow into their personalities. It really is a strange sight when you see your mannerisms in your kids that include using your keywords and phrases in everyday speech. When the hands go flying, the storytelling comes out and you realize you did a pretty darn good job with no prior experiences or set guidelines on what you’re doing.

Growing up, birthdays were always a really big thing in my house. From waking up to a decorated room, sneaking out of school to have lunch with my mom, choosing a place for dinner and of course the parties! It was a weekend I always looked forward to and as I got older turned out to be a lot less of a big deal. I found as I’ve gotten older, the day just becomes another day. Some years I take off and this year was filled with a day at work and soccer practice in the evening. If I’m being totally honest, I could probably throw together some type of event for myself, but with a weekend filled of Ava’s birthday, Mother’s Day and mine.. 2 soccer games and a practice… doesn’t leave much time and I have no energy left!

I’ve had conversations with people and I know that aging can be nerve-wracking or scary. But I’m honestly excited! I’ve spent the majority of my 20s and 30s either in college, graduate school, pregnant or parenting. I’ve been running around to sporting events, science fairs, art shows, and joining field trips. Everyday is an adventure and every day is insane. I’m excited to be where I am and also excited to look ahead. I’ve been telling myself for ages that I’ll be in my prime when I hit my 40s. We’ll have a 13 and 15-year-old at that point which allow us to go on dates and live our lives a little bit more than we’re able to now. It’ll just open up a whole different world that we’ve never known. So yeah I’m looking forward to seeing where the crazy train takes me from here on out.

For now, I’m here in my mom era continuing to create the life I’ve always dreamed of.