The Poor Mom Revolution

     Ever have something on your mind that plays on repeat over and over again? Lately, I’ve been thinking about my future plans and what I want down the road. For so long I’ve been stuck in the now and trying to get through each day and it has been more about survival than anything else. It’s almost as though there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and things are finally starting to feel a tiny bit easier. 

     For years I didn’t have a vision or an understanding of the “goal or dream” life I wanted for myself and my family. I wanted to be happy, safe, comfortable and healthy but other than that I never really thought about it. I feel like in your twenties you’re figuring out your place in the world and it’s hard to think beyond that. You’re constantly in the present working to make ends meet and putting out all the little fires along the way. When you’re in your twenties, it’s incredibly hard to daydream and vision about what the next 20 years of your life are going to look like because it feels like you’ll be stuck in the baby/toddler stage forever and honestly it’s all about survival In the moment. 

     Once I hit my thirties, everything changed! It’s almost like I’m in the thick of it and every time I blink my kids are older than they were a second ago. I feel like I’m closer to them being out of the house than when they were babies and it gets me emotional anytime I think about it. I feel like I spent all this time and energy working to get where I am. I’ve been constantly figuring out who I am in addition to being a mom, while at the same time cherishing the person that I’ve become for that very reason. I’m equally excited and terrified for the next chapter when I have to start all over again learning how to identify as me and not through my relation to my children.

     Lately I keep finding that age isn’t the thing that terrifies me. I’m not necessarily scared or worried to get older, but it’s more about the change and growth that happens that is so unexpected. I’ve made a habit for quite a while now to push myself out of my comfort zone and it’s still one of the most terrifying feelings I’ll ever know, but I know it’s needed! It’s the only reason I’m where I am right now.

     When I was younger, I always wanted to have a big house with a wrap around porch on a cul-de-sac with lots of awesome neighbors. As I got a little older that dream or vision I had slowly started to change as it was less about the house and the space and more about the family time. I realized that suburbia and all the people super close together wasn’t what I needed after all. Don’t get me wrong, as I definitely need my tribe and close-knit community just in a different environment. When we decided to move to the Poconos, perspectives and life changed for us. This move gave us the freedom to do more of what makes us happy. We’ve met so many people through our neighborhood, school, soccer teams, work and it’s been wonderful! 

    So many people have dreams of working within the same company their whole lives, constantly getting promoted, getting the biggest and best car, being able to purchase the next best thing… but I’m here grateful for the ability to make a purchase without having to check my bank account or sort out what my month will look like, have a safe and reliable car that gets me to and from where I need to go without hesitation and of course working at a place that makes it easy to get out of bed in the morning. What I’m finding is that the scary, outside my comfort zone mom boss moves we’ve made over the years have so far led us exactly where we needed to go. 

     While lots of people are chasing bigger and better things, we seem to be chasing the quiet and calm. My husband and I have always been on similar pages when it comes to how we saw our future. The more people we meet in the area, the more we seem to not be alone in it. If I’m being honest the economy and inflation has hit us hard like many others. Having allergies and special diets have caused most of our meal items and ingredients to double in price if not triple, our electric and heat bill has been on a steady rise along with our taxes and healthcare premiums. To face the facts the average salary isn’t increasing, but everything else around us is going up. I keep talking about the fact that my kids are under 10 years away from potentially moving out. I’ve known so many people renting currently for three times our current mortgage and it terrifies me. I’m not entirely sure if my kids will be able to live on their own when the time comes. I know a lot of people get roommates in order to make ends meet, but I personally never had an opportunity to live by myself and I really want them to have that option if they want it. I think it’s important to know who you are and to be independent before adding someone else into the mix. 

     My husband and I have sat down quite a bit to talk about this. That we don’t want them to have a one-bedroom apartment or small home for $2000-$2,500 because there’s no way that they’re going to be making enough to survive by themselves off one income. For the last few years we’ve spoken about our pipe dream of getting a lot of land up here. So here’s the vision… We’d love to have at least 10+ acres. Build a ranch or barndominium style home with that wrap around porch with a porch swing and a few smaller cabin/ apartments in the back. I think they’d be great for house guests, our kids or rental units. They get their own privacy instead of just staying at the house. If  the kids aren’t able to afford a place of their own it gives them the independence that they’ll need to get on their feet. 

     My Instagram and Facebook reels are all filled with the back to basics, family compound, rv trips, bake your own bread, tend to a garden videos and I can’t get enough of it. It just sounds so peaceful and honestly it plays on repeat in my head. It’s one of those things I wake up thinking about, dream about and I can’t get it to stop. It’s a repetitive mantra that I can’t shake, which only tells me that I have to make that happen. When you lay up at night thinking about your hopes, dreams and future…what comes to your mind?