The Poor Mom Revolution

We were in the car on our way home when my son wanted to share something that happened to him that day. He explained that someone said something kind of mean and he didn’t like it. My kids were explaining why they didn’t understand how people could be mean in the first place and we couldn’t all just be nice to each other. Which honestly is hard to explain to a child. Some people are kind and nice while others blatantly aren’t. Some people enjoy hurting others and they don’t think about others feelings before they make those choices.

This brought up a memory from last year when someone was picking on him during the bus ride to school and he took it to heart. He said that it was something he’d never forget. I mentioned that I understand how he felt as there were certain instances and situations I’ve been in as a child and an adult that I will never forget. I mentioned that it definitely sucks but it helps make you a better person by knowing how you want to treat others and how you won’t let others speak or treat you! My son ended the conversation with, “ It made a scar in my heart.”

I saw an Instagram reel of a woman sitting and speaking with her child at a grocery store who was throwing a tantrum. It was a mockery of the current generations being soft and giving their children too much power and in turn babying them. There is always this weird cross-generational argument of others not doing what’s right or expected. With the different ages and expectations there are bound to be some profound differences that cause parents to parent differently. My generation didn’t get the basic cell phone until I was about 13 years old. It had unlimited night and weekend minutes only and didn’t have Internet access, just text messaging. We didn’t grow up with social media like it was today. We had Myspace and Facebook which became more widespread when I went to college. We took photographs on disposable film cameras and didn’t need to worry about our life being recorded or shared with the world. Our kids are growing up in a completely different world and we see the crazy, harmful effects of all of these new things going unchecked. The numerous YouTube videos, social media obsession, the uploading at the drop of a hat, the world at your fingertips and the cyber bullying that never ends. We are trying to protect our kids the way we feel is necessary which in my mind is all about communication and mutual respect. There is no rule book on parenting. The because I said so, rule with an iron fist, be seen and not heard is no longer the norm and we need to also understand that kids are changing and so is the parenting.

Most of those parents that are working hard to raise emotional intelligent children are ones that felt they weren’t heard and didn’t have a say as children. They didn’t feel as though their opinions mattered all that much and made a promise to do more for their kids. I stand by that. As new parents, we are working to be better. Every generation is going to take the good and the bad. They will keep the parts and traditions they love and change the parts they didn’t. They will give their kids what they felt their childhood lacked and I think that’s amazing. We always want our kids to have a “better” life than we had and I feel as though it isn’t all about money and finances. It’s about the kids having a better life in every capacity. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

Growing up I had a lot of feelings and typically journaled instead of sharing them out loud. I’m forever grateful that I’ve created a relationship with my kids where they are able to verbalize what’s on their mind and have the emotional intelligence to ask for what they need from me. I don’t know all the answers, but I’ll make sure that our house is a safe space for them to be themselves. That if they need help, we’ll be there. If they aren’t sure about something, they can ask for advice or bounce ideas off each other. We all have our days, but it’s about not closing yourself off, but learning to handle, cope and bounce back. Do they want to be left alone, need to snuggle, draw or sketch next to me, take a bath and relax a bit… We have so many emotionally stunted adults, I’m not looking to bring up any more of them.

Life is hard enough when people are at war and against each other constantly. What is the point of continuing the battle just to one up someone else for doing something differently. I think it’s time we get back to enjoying the community of each other and support one another. I’m over the arguing. It’s so exhausting!

What are you doing differently from the generation before you?