The Poor Mom Revolution

     I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of the flamingo phenomenon of ‘losing your pink.’ As parents, their color fades to white/light pink when all of their energy goes to their young. Like flamingos we are always giving so much energy, love and care to those around us that there isn’t enough left for us. Once the flamingos young grow up, their mom and dad get their pink back. I’ve spent so many years trying to figure out who I am as someone other than a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a coworker, etc. I think it’s our turn to get out pink back now while we have time to enjoy our lives for ourselves and not just live it for everyone else. 

     I’ve been attempting to take steps to get my pink back over the last few years and have recently picked up the pace. I’m learning to have a little more fun, as I’ve always been beyond my years, and acted a tad older, more mature and in mom mode even with friends since middle school.

     I’ve started declaring that I’ll be someone that has hobbies. I’ve very recently picked up reading. Now I’m not a fast reader by any means, and can only read something I enjoy and have an interest in. That interest has turned into a romance/smut novel obsession over the course of the year. I went from reading zero books to 13.5 in 7 months. I have a few favorite authors so far… trying to branch out as we speak, but figured I’d share some of my favorites this year in case you needed some ideas to relax and enjoy. 

Colleen Hoover

-It Ends With Us

-It Starts With Us 

-Confess

Lucy Score 

-Things We Never Got Over

-Things We Hide from the Light 

-Things We Left Behind 

Ana Huang

-King of Wrath

-King of Pride 

-King of Greed

Talia Hibbert

-Get a Life, Chloe Brown 

-Take a Hint, Dani Brown

-Act your Age, Eve Brown 

Alexis Hall

-Husband Material

Sarah J. Maas

-A Court of Thorns and Roses

     As you know from my previous blogs, traveling as a family and with girlfriends is on my list of things to do as often as possible. I’ve found that planning ahead helps me have things to look forward to. It allows me to put things into perspective, to get through some of the hard moments knowing that there are some incredible ones ahead, and to be more grateful in the moment for what I have. I’ve always had dreams of traveling and since having kids young, I put many of those things aside because it wasn’t practical in the moment. I think a lot of the time when we begin to grow up, we put ourselves on hold for everybody else and in turn start losing bits and pieces in the process. When the kids were younger, I constantly felt guilty when I left for the night or for dinner with friends. I’m now realizing the mom guilt doesn’t ever really go away. It’s a constant in the back of our minds that we aren’t doing enough for our kids. Which is wrong, since we have up a lot for them. Just remember to take the evening out to hang and unwind with friends, go on that date night, have a long overdue girls weekend. You’ll love every second of it. 

     I’m also working hard to relieve some external pressures. As much as I desperately need help throughout the day, I’ve always found it easier to just take on the load myself as I know it’ll get done. I’ve spent so much time and energy demonstrating, reminding and guiding the kids to help do things around the house, including sweeping, bringing their laundry downstairs, loading the dishwasher… to help take some pressure off In the sense that I’m doing way too much. Attempting to share the load and responsibilities instead of taking it all on. I was recommended to use the Greenlight debit card. It is an app/account for chores with the kids has been extremely helpful. It’s a basic checking account for them and allows me to add and transfer money based on completion. The kids learn to spend and purchase their own items as we are also attempting to teach them financial responsibility. The kids have a weekly list of things they need to do in order to get compensation with an online checklist and they are able to purchase things they’re excited about.  The help in getting things done the night before including outfits and sports clothes, lunches to avoid last minute scrambles and cleaning up her kitchen is a life saver on my part. I think it’s a great addition for us as a family!

     One of my absolute biggest struggles has been taking my health back. My health needs to be my number 1 priority and I know this. I’m constantly making excuses for everyone else needing me, stress and exhaustion. An hour won’t kill me. I know I feel like a million bucks when I’m done, but the consistency is always a struggle on my part. Part of me taking my pink back is putting myself first and understanding what makes me feel good, strong and confident. This is the last piece of the puzzle to feeling more put together and alive. 

     Do you feel like you’ve lost your pink? What did you do to get it back?