The Poor Mom Revolution

Whenever I have a question or am curious about something, I do the best I can to find a solution or an answer. One thing I’ve never understood are dreams, or better yet nightmares. Sometimes I don’t even know I have them and can’t remember a single thing and other times it’s as if it was real life and I remember every detail. I don’t know about your dreams, but I have been having one of two dreams on repeat for a while. The kind of bad dream, you wake up sweating and/or crying and aren’t sure if you are safe or okay. I’ve tried to research what dreams mean, but there are so many different types of interpretations.

They say dreams are a natural part of sleep. Dreams are a way for you to manage, interpret and deal with the issues, thoughts, emotions and traumas you may or may not encounter during the day. Dreams can help you work through ideas or problems and many times stress and anxiety can heighten the dream state as well causing them to seem a bit more intense and scary.

One thing people don’t tell you is that when you are pregnant your dream state can become more vivid and real. They say that the hormonal increase, along with the stress and anxiety can add to the reasons why it feels like you are in it and

I’ve had the same three nightmares on repeat for a while now. The first one I remember was when I had just found out I was pregnant with my son. For the next 7 or so months I had a dream that the house was on fire and I wasn’t able to get to him or that we were stuck in the house with no way to escape. I’d wake up absolutely hysterical and couldn’t shake that feeling of fear, failure and worried that something was wrong. That dream thankfully subsided the moment he was born.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, my dream changed gears slightly. I would dream of a home invasion. Two men would storm into my home with masks and guns and I wasn’t able to reach both of them. This one would cause me to wake up sobbing and I’d run into my son’s room to check that he was okay. This dream was the reason I would constantly make sure our doors were locked and alarm was set before falling asleep. This dream was and will always be the worst one as it involved my babies and my not being able to keep them safe. What didn’t help is that in our first house had a detached garage that I didn’t always feel the safest walking from the car to the house. We also had our cars stolen from the carport which caused me to always be hyper vigilant and also carried a taser at that time as per my hubbies request. To say my anxiety and stress levels were at an all time high, would have been an understatement. I was always able to rationalize these terrible dreams when I was pregnant. It was a normal occurrence according to ‘Google.’ My body was going through an intense change and my hormones were out of wack. Our lives were changing dramatically as we went from a family of 2 to 3 and then 4. Anyone would be a bit anxious or worried about that. I would always have the “Will I be a good mom?” fear in the back of my mind. The fear of the unknown was a lot.

I wish I could say my nightmares were done after having my kids, but they just changed from the fear of losing or not reaching them to something happening to me or my husband. The nightmare that gets me to this day on repeat is being followed and not knowing if I’ll escape. I’m always in a building and I’m running through trying to get away. I’m always only a short distance ahead as I’m throwing things in their path to slow them down. For some reason I’m dressed up and in heels which never helped anyone. I finally reach an emergency exit door to take me outside where I find myself in an alley with nowhere to go. That’s when I wake up. I never know if I actually get away or if I’m taken. My dream never lets me get that far in the story.

Some believe dreams always have hidden meaning while others believe it’s still a mystery to be solved. For now, my kids have dream catchers to help them sleep better, I attempt to manage my stress and anxiety and hope I hope to have more good dreams than bad. I honestly think dreams are just another reminder that you can’t control everything. Just to take it day by day, moment by moment and remember it’s going to be okay. Am I the only one with scary reoccurring dreams?