The Poor Mom Revolution

My family is one of the biggest things I’m thankful for this time of year. I can’t remember or picture what the holidays meant or looked like to me before I had my kids. It was like everything that came before was a complete and utter blur. As if the first 24 years of my life weren’t memorable enough to ingrain until I was helping to create those experiences for my own kids.

It really is something to create traditions that you hold so dear. Our biggest tradition seems to be around Christmas and Hanukkah time. Hanukkah is an easy one as we definitely stole this one from our parents and we do everything based on a theme and the gifts are practical or needed. The gifts are not crazy, expensive or intense, but something fun, practical and with meaning. Each day has a different idea or concept and they each get one personalized for themselves. I remember last year they were both dying to have slippers so we got them each one that fit their unique styles. We had just started doing some traveling and got them a snack pack, luggage and neck pillows. We’ve definitely done candy and activities for movie nights, books and calendars, some of their favorite snacks and cereals we don’t normally get. With Hanukkah being eight days long, we tend to do things from five below to keep it fun, easy and reasonably priced.

Christmas is one of my favorite times of year because thankfully enough while I was growing up celebrating Hanukkah, my Christmas Eve and Christmas Days were always free to spend it with my husband and his family. I’d get the full experience of hanging out all together, getting to choose one gift on Christmas Eve, waking up early Christmas morning and having a huge feast that evening. There was always something magical about that day and I loved watching everyone eager to see what was under the tree. As a parent, I’ve helped to create that magic for my kids. Not everything they receive is super big or expensive, but it’s their favorite character on a comforter set, new backpacks, season passes, trips we’ve planned, Lego sets, skincare … things we know they’re going to use, appreciate and love!

As incredible as this time of year is with all the magic and lights, It also is extremely stressful. There’s always a lot of internal pressure we put on ourselves to make it the best experience for our kids. And I’m not sure about you, but financially it has been a hell of a year. Everything has gotten more and more expensive. Whether it be food, gas, electricity, bare necessities and mortgage… everything has gone up! This year I made a point to slowly get things when I see them throughout the year and not try and buy everything in one month, but life doesn’t always work out as planned. I’ve made experiences and trips my priority this year and they’ve definitely taken the front seat to a lot of the expenses and savings money.

As much as I absolutely love this season, the stress that is associated with it is something I can do without. No matter how far I’ve come in general with focusing on being a better parent for my kids, improving my confidence and self-worth… I’m constantly comparing myself to those around me. It is something I preach to my kids about being exactly who they are and forgetting about what everybody else is doing, but it’s easier said than done. I always need to recenter myself and have constant self talks about the reason behind the holidays and how absolutely grateful I am that we are together for it regardless of the financial pressure to do more and the struggle of being okay with where we are in this moment.

I find one of the most therapeutic and stress relieving activities for me is to write. As much as I’ve always been a listener, I have always needed to share, get my thoughts out and decompress. To date, one of the best ways for me to do that is to have my own personal journal and write my blog about things that are on my mind, things that upset or worry me and most importantly things that just need to be released from my mental load. There’s something beautiful about consistently writing over the years, and looking back to see just how far you’ve come. It’s like when you’re watching your children grow up and you don’t realize just how old they’ve gotten, until all of a sudden they are your height and acting so much like adults. It just sneaks up on you and comes out of nowhere. Although you don’t exactly know how you got from point A to point B, it is a beautiful thing once you’re there.

Around Christmas time in 2023, I had read a book by an author that I really enjoyed. I had made a goal or New Years Resolution to read 12 books for 2024. Previously, anytime I was worked up or stressed out there was no mental capacity for me to read for enjoyment. My brain basically shut down and I physically could not sit down for any length of time as I always felt like there are more important things for me to do. If I was homesick or needed a mental health day, I would wind up cleaning, organizing, doing laundry, or attempting to procrastinate by binge watching random TV episodes. I have tried and I don’t know what the reason is behind it, but relaxing has never been my strong suit. As part of my 2024 word of the year challenge, I made a point to be more “ intentional” with my time and to work on decompressing and not being a machine. As of right now it is Monday, December 9th and I am on my 26th book of the year. This is probably one of the most important personal goals that I’ve had for myself because the number of books I’ve read aligns with the fact that I allowed myself to take time in something that I enjoy. Every month I was consistently more relaxed than I’ve ever been and focused more on my mental health than anything else. It also didn’t hurt that the kids saw me consistently reading a book and would join me on occasion as we snuggled up on the couch.

This time of year can be so magical, so we need to focus on getting out of our heads more and just enjoying the present moment with the incredible people around us. We’ve always preached that family time is most important and it’s our job to keep that concept at the forefront of our mind. I hope this season is just as much about finding your inner peace as it is about creating long lasting memories for those you love most.