The Poor Mom Revolution

I read somewhere that we represent a different version of ourselves to each person we meet. Which is an interesting thought. I like to pride myself in making sure that I’m being authentic, but knowing that people perceive different things based on their viewpoint, and past experiences is super interesting.

Obviously I’ve realized that given the situation I can give off different vibes. If I’m in a large group of people I don’t know, I would be more quiet and reserved. If I’m with some of my closest friends, I’ll be chatty, loud, giggly and most likely wheezing up a storm. As a mom and wife at home, I am more responsive, reflective, cuddly, and proactive. Depending on where I am on my anxiety/ depression curve, I can be extremely optimistic and bubbly, or mellow, numb, and emotional.

Perceptions vary…

Each person’s background, experiences, and personality create a unique lens through which they see things through. This leads to different interpretations of others’ actions and words.

Multiple versions of yourself:

All of us are unique and different, moment by moment and day by day. I always reflect on who I am now and how much I’ve changed over the years. The people that I surround myself with and call best friends aren’t the same group that I hung out with in school or college. I’ve created boundaries, and have surrounded myself with people that are just as strong as I am. I’ve caught myself saying, “ if I had known them growing up, maybe I would have been a little bit more self-confident or been able to stand up for myself more,” or “ If I knew then what I know now, I’d be a completely different person.” It’s crazy to think that people have met you along the way when you were still trying to figure out who you were.

I try to do the right thing, and help others when I can. But no matter what, through the years, I’ll be the villain in someone’s story. Maybe they met me at a time when I was too self-conscious or insecure to stand up for them. Maybe they met me during my boundary phase when I was trying to stop my people pleasing tendencies and focus on me. I do feel like there are people that didn’t quite understand no matter how it was explained and that’s okay. There were also others that I had to walk away from with no explanation to why. We all go through different phases of life and there are people that join you in each of them. I know it’s cliche, but I do believe that we meet people at the time of our lives when we truly need them. I do believe that there are people meant to be in our lives for a short period of time, while others are there for all of it.

Unconscious self-editing:

Another thing that’s really neat, on the basis that we adapt and change who we are from time to time, is that we do it based on who we’re talking to. I’m going to have a different way of talking and relating to a boss then I would to a new friend, which differs from my bestie who I’ve known forever. Because honestly I am two very different people at work and at home. By human nature, we’re adaptable. I feel like we are unconsciously chameleon-like in order to fit into different situations and scenarios that happen. It’s our way of being genuine, and connecting with the people around us.

The “passing thought”:

While there are people that you make a huge impact on, we also need to be aware that there’s people that barely know us, and we’re not even a blip on the radar. There are people that have come in and out of our lives, whether through school, work or through our kids that probably don’t even remember our names or a single interaction they’ve had. It’s just crazy to think that there are 8 billion people on this planet, and you’ve passed a decent few randomly on the street. Ones you might have nodded, smiled at, or said excuse me to. Other times you had your headphones in or stared at your feet the whole time.

This perspective that we are complex and multifaceted can also be a reminder that we will never fully understand ourselves the way others do. Our self-perception is influenced by your own internal narrative and how we see the world. I’m now curious how others see me over the years and if the changes are as drastic as I’ve felt them to be. And not curious in a self conscious kind of way, but more out of curiosity and self growth. How do you think you are perceived by those around you? Would you change anything?